Date Nights

One of the things Jim and I promised each other when we got married was that we would continue to date. We would date as a married couple and we would date as a married couple with kids. 

Dates are fun, right? Something we used to always look forward to! Well, I have to be honest, dating with a baby is a little harder than I imagined it would be. 

My mom came to visit in the middle of July and while she was here we decided it would be the perfect time to go on our first "date" since Christian was born. We planned it in advance and I anxiously showed my mom where everything was and gave her the 411 on taking care of Christian.

I wasn't nervous that my mom wouldn't take GREAT care of Christian. I just wanted her to know where everything was. 

We left the house and I was completely comfortable and excited to spend some quality time with my hubby! Although, it did feel weird not having Christian with us. Not long after we got to dinner, I started getting emotional. It may have been because we were reminiscing over the life events we have partook in at Red Lobster over the past 2 years, or it may have been because it was our first time out of the house without our little boy. And there is no reason he can't be with us for dinner of all things! 

Well, eating dinner without a baby IS much more relaxing and being able to focus on each other without caring for a baby IS a lot less distracting...but still. 

So there I sat...in tears...on our "first date". Not exactly my idea of "romantic" especially when all I really wanted was to be with our little boy. 

Luckily, my hubby had a few tricks up his sleeve...as usual :) Our date wasn't over after dinner like I had thought it was. We were going mini golfing! And not just your normal mini golfing, but NEON mini golfing! So fun! 

Jim dressed perfectly for the neon lights! 

I, on the other hand, was unprepared... 

Don't worry...we weren't really hitting our balls like it was real golf! 

It wasn't long after we started our round that my mind was off Christian and focused on having fun with my hubby and really enjoying time with him.

I think I must have been having too much fun, though, because I lost! I never lose to my hubby! Oh well :) My win was conquering date night! 

As we headed home, though, I realized that we were going to need to do this again. While I love spending time with my hubby, I really wanted to just have 'date nights' be 'family nights' from there on out. But I knew this wouldn't be good or healthy for our relationship. Dating is good for our relationship and will help us stay connected and continue to grow together and enjoy each other as more than just 'parents'. 

Our 1 year anniversary is approaching, and I'm hoping it goes better. Here are my newest thoughts on dating after baby and how I hope to do it from now on...

My Tips to Ease Back Into Dating Post Baby: 

1. Don't wait too long to start! I honestly don't know if this would have made a huge difference, but I can only think that the less time we would have waited, the easier it would have been. It would have been our new normal. 

2. Start small. Your first date doesn't need to be elaborate. Maybe its something as simple as leaving the house for 30 minutes - 1 hour and just going for a walk and engaging in undistracted conversation. As you get more comfortable leaving your new bundle of joy, stretch your dates longer. 

3. Do something fun! This not only makes for an enjoyable date, but it makes for a distracting date! In a good way! The second part of our date involved mini golfing...very fun and took my mind off the fact that our little guy wasn't with us and let me enjoy time with my hubby. It also wasn't really something we could have brought Christian to do, which made me feel less guilty. 

4. Do it often! I think the more you date and get a babysitter, the more comfortable you will become.

5. Find a babysitter you trust or do some 'practice babysitting'. If you are opting for a high school babysitter, you may be a little more nervous about leaving your new baby...at least I am! But something I'm hoping to do is have a babysitter come take care of Christian while I am home. For example, we have a small group with several couples with children and eventually we will need child care during small group. With a high school babysitter watching the kids upstairs, I'm hoping to get comfortable and confident in leaving Christian with someone else. 

What tips do you have? What has helped you?