The Parent Room

Does your church have a Parent Room? 

That room in the back of the church all set up with cozy rocking chairs, toys, and TV screens so you can watch the service...all while being segregated from the rest of the church. 

This wasn't my perspective on the Parent Room before having a baby. I used to think how great it was for churches to have a space for parents and children to still participate in the worship service. But now, now I feel more of an obligation to go to this room whenever Christian makes a peep during church even when people just turn and smile at our cute little {sometimes too chatty}baby boy.

Don't get me wrong, I love when Christian makes people smile, but I still feel a tinge of guilt when I get these looks as I'm trying to help Christian hold back his chatty thoughts. 

I know the Parent Room exists to allow families to still experience church without disturbing others, but:

How much is too much? 

How loud is too loud? 

When I'm in the Parent Room watching the service, I might as well be cozied up on my couch at home watching the service. 

I feel segregated. 

It's as if I'm walking around with a sign on my forehead:

I'm with a Baby. I will proceed to the Parent Room. 

But just because I have a baby who maybe sometimes makes some noise in church does that really mean I have to sit in the Parent Room?  

Maybe all of his jabbering is actually him praying in tongues. I don't have the gift of interpreting tongues, so I couldn't tell you, but maybe! 

Yes. My church not only offers a Parent Room but also offers a Nursery with free childcare. 

But maybe I want my child in church with me. Maybe I want him to experience worship. And maybe I want him to feel like just because he has energy and a voice he doesn't have to leave church but in fact is welcomed there too. 

There is always the question, though, of how much am I actually getting out of church by having my child there with me? Half the time I rarely remember what the sermon was even about because I spend the whole time worrying about whether Christian is too loud or finding another toy to entertain him or sometimes even feeding him during the service. 

Now that Christian is 6 months old and getting older and more active every day, I'm needing to find a solution. Not just a solution, though, but a balance. A balance between teaching him to worship and love church and God and know that he is accepted and welcomed in this place but also allowing me to experience those same things. 

I grew up going to church every Sunday experiencing the full service. It was a much more traditional service, but I was there for all of it. I had my moments where I would escape and crawl under all the pews and make a real scene, but I experienced church with my family. But I also learned that church was a boring place where you needed to be quiet. I don't want Christian to learn this either. 

So what's the answer, the solution, the balance? 

Do I take him to child care now? Every other week? Do I sit in the parent room and be distracted not just by my own child but those of others as well, yet form bonds and relationships with the other parents in the room? Or do I continue to boycott the parent room and just take Christian to the full church service? He really loves the lights and the music.

Right now we have been mainly sitting outside the parent room. A lot of parents seem to sit in this area. It's still fully part of the worship center and with all the other people at church. It's just close to the parent room so if your little one does get too loud you can quickly make your exit.

I guess I like this option, but I almost wish that it was a designated family section. Still part of the church service but surrounded by those who've also "been there" and are understanding of sometimes chatty little ones. In some ways this is basically what it is, but not formally.

Now, don't get me wrong, no one has ever really given us dirty looks or anything like that. I just always worry that I'm disrupting someone's quiet, intimate time with God by keeping my little guy in the service. And I'm thankful for the Parent Room so that I can still experience church when Christian does have those times where he gets way out of hand, but I just don't want to feel pressured to go there...But maybe I'm creating the pressure myself....

Do you sit in the Parent Room at church? Do you start there or do you move there if your little one gets too noisy? How do you decide how much is too much and how loud is too loud? Do you like the Parent Room? Or do you feel segregated and pressured to go there?