Baby 2.0 {Our Angel Baby}-- Bumpdate!

{I've debated sharing this, but decided that it's part of our story and I still want to document it and save the memories. So while we will never hold Baby 2.0 in our arms, we will always hold that sweet peanut in our hearts.}

It's crazy how different pregnancy has been this time around! It's also funny how God works...

Shortly after sharing about maybe being content with just one little monster, I started to feel ready to maybe actually have another! It was actually right around that time too, that we thought we might actually be pregnant...not because we were trying, though! Because we weren't. 

My body was just confusing me I guess...or maybe God was preparing me for what He knew was to come in the next 2 months!

Either way, this time around I starting feeling and noticing symptoms early...probably around just 3 weeks! But because of our recent "we might be pregnant!" and I was wrong, I figured I was just being crazy again. Although, this time we had "sort of" been trying...

Around 3 weeks I didn't know that I was pregnant, but I was already feeling round ligament pain, which definitely had me wondering! I remembered this pain from early on with Christian. That twinge of pain when you roll over or cough...yep. I had that! 

 I was also feeling pretty tired. However, we had just gotten back from spending Christmas in New York where Christian didn't exactly nap the best or sleep very well at night...so that could have been a perfect explanation! 

The night before I finally decided to test, I was literally falling asleep on the couch at 8:30pm. Now, I generally am a bit of an early to bed person {especially compared to my husband!} but 8:30pm was even early for me! The next morning as I was getting out the eggs to make breakfast, I was suddenly overcome with a bit of nausea at the thought of eggs.

  In that moment, I knew that I needed to take a test. 

So I did. 

And voila! 

:::January 9, 2015:::
3 weeks 

It didn't take long at all for that to show up! Despite only barely trying for one month {we totally didn't think we even timed it right for it to be possible that month!} we were PREGGO and I was sooo excited! 

I had to tell someone! But Jim was at work so I knew I should wait and come up with some cute way to tell him, so I text a pic of the test to one of my best friends, of course. We then chatted a bit and came up with some ideas of how to tell Jim. 

Unfortunately, my excitement overtook me and I ended up just telling Jim on the phone...well he will say I told him in a text message...

Note to self: If you're wanting to get pregnant and your hubby knows its almost time to test, don't text him asking-- "If I had something important to tell you would you want to know now or later?" 

Oops. 

Anyway, he knew right away and Facetimed me and Christian and we told him for real. 

We set to work right away on coming up with a way to tell our families {and our small group because they are practically family too!}

We wrote a poem and mailed it with this picture to our families: 

Roses are Red, 

Violets are Blue, 

I know it's early for Valentine's Day, 

But, oh boy (or girl!) do I have a surprise for you! 

5 weeks 

This time around we actually only took 1 test. With Christian I think we took at least 3 just to be sure...then we went to urgent care for a blood test because we were so excited and just wanted to be sure that we were pregnant. We were silly. 

We learned then that at home tests generally don't give false positives, so if you get a positive test, you're probably pregnant. 

I was still nervous, though, that despite the positive test, I might actually not be pregnant. But then 5 weeks rolled around and I missed my period, which was a little more confirmation for me. However, silly me, you're only 4 weeks when you miss your period. I was so confused on my dates this time! A missed period and still being pretty tired and napping a lot more and having moments of nausea and some continued round ligament pain was continued confirmation for me. 

6 Weeks 

With Christian I was literally nauseous 24/7 and miserable beyond belief starting just a few days before 6 weeks, so as soon as we got our positive, I was counting the days I had left to "feel good". But 6 weeks came and I was still feeling ok! The moments of nausea were just that, moments! Nothing compared to Christian....not even close! It did make me a little nervous not being super sick...because sick to me was normal! I did lay in bed trying to fall asleep but I was super nauseous at 6 weeks 3 days and then felt a little sick again the next morning. But this time around, I know that even if I don't feel well, eating will actually make me feel better. I think that bit of knowledge and motivation early on this time is helping me out.

Christian has also started to say "baby" and will even point to my belly when I ask him where the baby is. When we first told him there was a baby in my belly he looked at us like we were crazy! Like NO WAY can that happen!!! ha ha It was priceless! He has thought there is a baby in his belly a few times, though, too :)

7 Weeks 

At this point my due date (and weeks) were calculated merely off of baby center's due date calculator based on my last period. However, I'm not sure that it was super accurate for me since I have a longer cycle (more like 34-35 days and not the usual 28 days that they use for the calculator). So when I thought I was 7 weeks I was actually probably only almost 6 weeks.

:::January 26, 2015:::
Anyway, when I was what I thought to be 7 weeks 1 day, I started spotting. The spotting quickly turned to bleeding. I immediately called my doctor and they had me go in for an emergency ultrasound. At the ultrasound we saw only a gestational sac which showed the baby to only be about 5 weeks. At this point, they weren't ready to say that I had miscarried. The doctor said that since my cycle was longer I could possibly be only about 5ish weeks. She wanted me to go back the following week for another ultrasound. However, since I'm rh-negative, I had to get a rhogham shot just in case I was miscarrying.

When I went in to get this shot, I ended up also having my hormone levels test. The first hcg test came back at 976, which was considered normal for 5, almost 6, weeks. That was on Monday. However, the bleeding continued. Still no real cramps and the bleeding wasn't even too heavy.

On Wednesday I went back in for my second hcg test. This test took FOREVER to get the results back on. I finally got the results from the front desk of my clinic...but they gave me inaccurate results. They told me my levels were normal at 1147. While the numbers hadn't doubled, they had increased and were in the normal range for 6 weeks.

And then after contacting my doctor for next steps and some more understanding, she informed me that the front desk gave me the results wrong. My levels had actually dropped to only 147 so I was in fact having a miscarriage.

My heart sank.

I had never expected miscarriage to be a part of my story, my experience.

But I also had a greater understanding of what I was losing as I watched my smiley and handsome little boy run laps around the room, knowing that he wasn't yet going to be a big brother.

The bleeding has nearly stopped now (after 5 days of bleeding). It has never gotten heavy. I haven't had major clots and haven't been soaking through pads. But I've still had a miscarriage. We are still waiting to hear what happens next and I'm still processing it all and listening to hear what God has for us in this.

For now, our pregnancy journey this time has ended. I am looking forward to seeing how God uses this in our story to shape our character more and more to be like Him.


To compare to how things were with Christian, click {here}.