I am NOT in Control

In my head I knew I wasn't, but I don't think I ever really believed it. Not until recently.

I could quote all the Bible verses about God being in control and I believed them...but not really? I guess I still thought I had a lot more control than I really do.

"You can make plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail." ~Proverbs 19:21

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." ~Jeremiah 29:11 

"We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." ~Proverbs 16:9 

Or maybe I just thought that God would always do things my way. Because my way is best right?

My life is far from perfect, but if I'm being honest, there is also a lot in my life that has seemed to just go my way. Or at least I quickly forget the times that it wasn't going my way...

Like when my long term "I'm going to marry him" boyfriend from high school broke up with me for no reason.

I was not in control. 

Which was a good thing, because I was then able to meet the man who became my husband and is perfect for me -- he pushes me to grow, he takes time to understand me (sometimes better that I understand me), he leads our family, he provides so well for us, he is goofy, he is patient, he is kind and has such a big heart. And he is the father of my baby boy. I'm so glad I was not in control. 

Also, that time that I "wanted" to go to Bethel Seminary and then prayed for a way out of staying there all year long.

I was not in control. 

And guess what?? Once again, that was a good thing. If I had been in control I would have left, which probably would have meant I wouldn't have learned what I needed to to put me in a place that I was ready to meet my future husband. I'm so glad I was  not in control. 

And when we got pregnant with Christian on our honeymoon and I thought "Wow, that was easy. We are in control of when we have babies". This was then only confirmed by the one time of trying back in December and getting pregnant right away with baby #2. However, we had tried but didn't think it was possible that month and it still happened. Again, so not in control.

But, even more...

I was not in control. 

We went on find out that we won't get to hold that baby here on earth because he or she went to be in heaven at just before 6 weeks old. And as hard as that was, I had hope. I have hope now even as we are almost 2 months into trying to conceive again and being reminded each month of how little control I actually have over the process of conception. New life truly is such a miracle.

I am not in control. 

And while it is often easy to see and realize how little control we have in our lives in the BIG things, we actually have just as little control in the little things too.

I am not in control.

When Christian wakes up an hour and a half early on a morning that I had planned to wake up before him, I am reminded....

I am not in control. 

When our day doesn't go as planned. Christian is teething, or tired, or fighting his nap and my to-do list is sitting on the counter collecting dust as usual....

I am not in control. 

But there is beauty when we are not in control. Yes, I said beauty. And there is also freedom.

Freedom from worrying because we can trust in our heavenly father to always have the best for us through all situations.

Even more than freedom and beauty, there is rest.

When we are still and just rest in God and open our eyes and ears for what He has for us in each day, each moment, we are never striving. We aren't overwhelmed with worry. We are walking in Him and through Him and leaning on Him for the strength we need to overcome whatever he gives us in our day to day lives from the big to the small. Because after all, I am not in control. 

And when I just accept that and lean into that, I can find peace as everything truly goes my way, every day, every moment. Especially as I'm blessed with moments like this that weren't "in my plan".

After fighting his nap and just playing in his crib for almost 2 hours, he finally fell asleep and I had to just go in and see his cute little self sleeping so innocently. It took so much to not scoop him up and rock him... 

So while I used to think that I couldn't live without control...I'm actually finding that I so couldn't live without not having control. 

Now that's a tongue twister! 

Linking up for this post with Pursuit of Pink and For Lauren and Lauren. 

Finding Hope through a Miscarriage

There was blood. 

Only a tiny pinkish bit, though, so probably nothing to worry about right? 

Deep breath. 

My one word for 2015 was Enjoy. When I got my positive pregnancy test on January 9, 2015, I had to laugh and think God must have a sense of humor -- I SO did not enjoy pregnancy with Christian. But I was excited to be expecting #2 and to see how I might come to "enjoy" pregnancy. 

We were so excited and chose to share our news early. We didn't announce on facebook, but we did share with all of our family and our close friends. We were pregnant and there was life growing inside me and we wanted to celebrate that!

On the day of the blood, I had just been journaling and praying about how I was actually "enjoying" pregnancy! I guess God had something to teach me about joy and enjoyment. 

After I finished praying, I had decided to go take another pregnancy test -- after all, by the time we would need that last test from our cupboard again, it would likely be expired so I might as well have fun and see how dark the line had gotten. 

It HAD gotten dark. But then there was the blood.

But blood can be normal during pregnancy, right? Some women bleed all through pregnancy. And this was just a tiny drop. Not bright red. No need to worry. 

Then I felt like there was more blood. When I went to the bathroom the toilet paper was covered in bright red blood. 

"This can't be good," I thought.

I immediately text my husband and we agreed that I better call the doctor. After speaking with the nurse (apparently some women bleed if they are still nursing -- and I was!) she told me she was going to get me in for an ultrasound that afternoon. Within an hour I was laying on a table as the ultrasound tech looked for our baby -- with the screen turned away from us.

From the moment I saw the blood, I began to pray and we of course text our small group and asked them to pray as well.

Romans 8:28
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." 

I was clinging to this, knowing that no matter what happened, God would use it for His glory and to fulfill His purposes. He wasn't working to make me happy, but to make me holy.

As we sat waiting for the ultrasound to be done, Jim eventually stood up and started walking around. At that moment, I knew that something wasn't looking right. He was upset and couldn't look at the screen any more.

There in fact wasn't a heartbeat. But that wasn't abnormal or really of any concern because the baby was only measuring about 5 weeks at which time it would be too early to pick up the heartbeat.

We were then able to talk to my doctor, who said she couldn't yet say if I was having a miscarriage. I still wasn't bleeding heavily and wasn't even cramping. She did recommend I get a rhogham shot, just in case, though, since my blood is rh-negative.

When I went back to the clinic for the shot, my doctor also suggested I have my hcg levels tested so I could potentially get some answers sooner -- otherwise I was going to have to wait a week to come back for a follow up ultrasound and hope to see growth and find a heartbeat! That seemed forever away and we of course just wanted answers!

My first blood test came back normal for what the ultrasound showed -- hcg was at 976.

We still had to wait because I needed to have my levels checked again in 48 hours to see if they were doubling (which they should be!)

The next 48 hours were the longest of my life! I was still feeling off and on nauseous, but was still also bleeding. Still not heavily, though, and no cramping.

Since I couldn't get answers yet from my doctor, I went to Doctor Google and sought out the experiences of other women. Miscarriage is actually quite common, which I knew but still never thought it would happen to me. As many as 1 in 4 pregnancies will end in miscarriage, 80% of which will be during the first trimester. It's more than likely that if you have more than 1 child, you will at some point experience a miscarriage.

As I searched the internet and read miscarriage and pregnancy boards, I quickly saw just how different all experiences can be. Just like every pregnancy is different, it seems that every miscarriage can be different too. There are specific things to look for that can signal a threatened miscarriage, such as heavy bleeding and cramps. However, that was not my experience. Basically, you can search the internet until you find the story that you like and that you hope will be yours. I think its more that I liked the "distraction" of something to give me hope.

My husband quickly reminded me, though, that we should not be leaning on our own understanding and what we can find on the internet. Our God is a bigger God that just what we can understand.

Proverbs 3:5-6 
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will  make straight your paths." 

During all of the waiting over that 48 hours, we of course prayed and prayed and prayed. I found myself praying and saying "I don't want to get my hopes up just to be let down" because at this point it had yet to be confirmed if I was in fact miscarrying or if the blood wasn't a concern. As I prayed that prayer, I felt God very clearly say to me, "Why not??? Don't you trust me? Claim life for your baby and trust that I am good no matter what!"

So my prayer changed. I prayed for life for our little one. That God would watch over our sweet little one and keep him or her safe and to give us peace, knowing that He would be with us no matter what. I wasn't sure what God was trying to tell me in asking me to claim life, but I did know that he was telling me to trust Him. The situation was so out of my control that there really wasn't any thing else I could do.

Psalm 18:2 
"The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer, in whom I take refuge."

Psalm 40:1-3
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand."

The only thing I could do was stand firm on knowing that God is good. All of the time. That was my firm place to stand. Especially as I remembered that "good" doesn't always mean what I want. God's ways are higher than my ways.

Philippians 4:6-7 
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

So I prayed and  prayed and prayed some more. And then after a looooonnnnggg wait, we finally heard from my doctor on Thursday late afternoon. My hcg levels had dropped from 976 to 147.

It was confirmed. I had miscarried.

The bleeding had almost stopped at this point and they assumed that I had likely passed the baby and everything that needed to be passed. I should be done bleeding. For that, I was grateful. I shouldn't need to fear a D & C or labor like contractions or anything. The silver lining.

Deuteronomy 31:6 
"So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid  and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you or abandon you." 

Despite the blow of this news, God had went before me. He knew this would be the outcome before even the doctor was able to confirm it.

I claimed life for our baby and God heard that prayer. He just chose to give our baby eternal life. Our baby will never have to feel the pain of this world, and someday I will hold our baby in my arms in heaven. Until then, I know that our baby is safe in the arms of Jesus. And it is that image that gives me so much peace. That combined with the fact that God prompted me to pray for life for our little one and now knowing how He answered that prayer.

The night that we got the news we were also blessed to be surrounded by our closest friends during small group where we were able to share about our loss and find comfort in their prayers and support. Especially as another mom in our group found herself in the same situation.

Within a few days, that bleeding had stopped.

A few days later I decided to take an early response pregnancy test. Never have I been so excited to see a negative result! This was a good sign that likely my hcg levels were near or at 0 once again! I will have my levels check for sure at my doctor appointment in a few weeks. But this is a good sign for me.

Again I was filled with so much peace.

Since we had chosen to share our news early, we now were left with more news to share. I honestly have viewed this as yet another blessing. We were left grieving our loss as a secret. We had chosen to honor life from the moment of conception, not from the moment that a pregnancy is most likely going to remain viable (after the first trimester). Because of this, we were surrounded with support and prayers. And also because of this, we discovered many others in our life that had gone through the same thing! Only further confirming that it is more common that we had experienced it be prior.

I have heard of other women who chose to wait to share their news and then did miscarry and they then found themselves wondering how to tell someone that they had a miscarriage when they had not yet told anyone that they were pregnant.

Yes, our news did spread and people that we hadn't told had found out and have come up to us to congratulate us and we have had to then explain. But in a way, this has been therapeutic. It has allowed us to share our story over and over and let it sink in and really start to believe what we were telling others -- that God is good, that he is with us through this, and that he has given our baby eternal life.

Isaiah 40:31 
"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint." 

It is through God's strength alone that we have been able to rise above the difficulties and pain that were handed to us. We are finding joy in that.

As we move forward from this, miscarriage is now part of our story. And a heaven baby is part of our family. Before we got pregnant this time, I was ready for a baby, but now, now I for sure have baby fever and find myself wanting another little one just as bad as I did before we had Christian. We also find hope in knowing how blessed we have already been with our little boy and for that we really are even more thankful now. Knowing that that is what we lost -- the chance to snuggle and love on and watch our baby grow and learn. But, as we were reminded this morning at church not only should we not "reduce God to something we can understand" but "God promises us a safe landing, even if he doesn't promise us a safe passage."And through this storm, we have indeed found a peace that passes understanding. It is my prayer that if you ever experience the loss of a pregnancy, that you will also experience this peace.

To listen to this week's sermon {click here} -- The Rich and Satisfying Life -- Week 3

For more stories and encouragement, check out my friend Marielle's blog -- The Resplendent.

Real Life Mama

I now get to enjoy moments like these, every day, ALL day! It's my dream come true! 

You're probably thinking - "Really, mama? All day, every day? Because my days aren't like this EVERY day and especially not ALL day." 

So let's be real. ALL day EVERY day isn't like this. My little guy rarely has a bad day {Praise the Lord}, but I {yes, this mama right here!!} have plenty of bad days. 

I struggle with being a mama, friends. 

Almost daily. 

If you're anything like me, those cute little faces, like my little Christian man above, really do make it all worth it. But there are a lot of days that I question what I'm doing. 

If I were to write down everything I do in a day I know the list would be long and I'm sure your's would be too! 

But this is the list I see in my mind when I think about my day: 

Didn't read the Bible long enough. 

Fed the baby. 

Changed the baby.

Cleaned up spit up. 

Folded laundry. 

Washed dishes. 

Made the beds. 

Cooked dinner. 

Tried to squeeze in some blogging...and the baby woke up.

Fed the baby again. 

Cleaned up baby after a major blow out. 

And the list repeats itself... again, and again, and again. 

Day in and day out. 

When the day is over what "accomplishments" do I have to show for myself? 

Usually it's not a whole lot in a tangible sense. There are no "promotions" for motherhood. Unless, that is, you count adding in another bundle of joy!? :) {No, we aren't expecting again!}

I don't know about you, but I'm often left with a lot of doubt. 

Is being mommy really enough????

I should have blogged more. 

I should have made a healthier dinner. 

I should have really deep cleaned and organized the kitchen. 

I should have baked a homemade dessert for small group instead of buying the packaged cookies from the store. 

I should have played with the baby more. 

I should have, I should have, I should have. 

The funny thing is that most of us probably feel this way as moms. But the pressure to do more and be more is probably coming from moms too!! 

Let's be real with one another. 

Let's have playdates in our pajamas {because we don't really get dressed up every day! Or is that just me?? }. 

There's nothing that makes me happier than when I get together with another mom and both of us are in our comfy clothes and haven't showered. 

Let's bring the packaged snacks to gatherings. 

Let's delete our pinterest accounts and take away the pressures of this world to be more. 

Loving on our little ones and showing them the love of Christ, leading them in truth daily is 

ENOUGH.

Being mommy is more than enough. 

It's everything. 

I'm talking to myself here too. We are the best moms for our kids. No one can do it better than we can. Our specific kids were given to us for a reason. And we are everything they need. So even when the only rewards of mothering is the smiles and hugs and laughter, let's remind each other that we are enough. 

Being mommy is enough. 

If you don't believe me...just ask your little one. 

I think my little guy thinks I'm just enough :) 

Even if we can't see it, there is a purpose to all the little, tedious tasks we do.

Psalm 138:8

"The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands."

The Parent Room

Does your church have a Parent Room? 

That room in the back of the church all set up with cozy rocking chairs, toys, and TV screens so you can watch the service...all while being segregated from the rest of the church. 

This wasn't my perspective on the Parent Room before having a baby. I used to think how great it was for churches to have a space for parents and children to still participate in the worship service. But now, now I feel more of an obligation to go to this room whenever Christian makes a peep during church even when people just turn and smile at our cute little {sometimes too chatty}baby boy.

Don't get me wrong, I love when Christian makes people smile, but I still feel a tinge of guilt when I get these looks as I'm trying to help Christian hold back his chatty thoughts. 

I know the Parent Room exists to allow families to still experience church without disturbing others, but:

How much is too much? 

How loud is too loud? 

When I'm in the Parent Room watching the service, I might as well be cozied up on my couch at home watching the service. 

I feel segregated. 

It's as if I'm walking around with a sign on my forehead:

I'm with a Baby. I will proceed to the Parent Room. 

But just because I have a baby who maybe sometimes makes some noise in church does that really mean I have to sit in the Parent Room?  

Maybe all of his jabbering is actually him praying in tongues. I don't have the gift of interpreting tongues, so I couldn't tell you, but maybe! 

Yes. My church not only offers a Parent Room but also offers a Nursery with free childcare. 

But maybe I want my child in church with me. Maybe I want him to experience worship. And maybe I want him to feel like just because he has energy and a voice he doesn't have to leave church but in fact is welcomed there too. 

There is always the question, though, of how much am I actually getting out of church by having my child there with me? Half the time I rarely remember what the sermon was even about because I spend the whole time worrying about whether Christian is too loud or finding another toy to entertain him or sometimes even feeding him during the service. 

Now that Christian is 6 months old and getting older and more active every day, I'm needing to find a solution. Not just a solution, though, but a balance. A balance between teaching him to worship and love church and God and know that he is accepted and welcomed in this place but also allowing me to experience those same things. 

I grew up going to church every Sunday experiencing the full service. It was a much more traditional service, but I was there for all of it. I had my moments where I would escape and crawl under all the pews and make a real scene, but I experienced church with my family. But I also learned that church was a boring place where you needed to be quiet. I don't want Christian to learn this either. 

So what's the answer, the solution, the balance? 

Do I take him to child care now? Every other week? Do I sit in the parent room and be distracted not just by my own child but those of others as well, yet form bonds and relationships with the other parents in the room? Or do I continue to boycott the parent room and just take Christian to the full church service? He really loves the lights and the music.

Right now we have been mainly sitting outside the parent room. A lot of parents seem to sit in this area. It's still fully part of the worship center and with all the other people at church. It's just close to the parent room so if your little one does get too loud you can quickly make your exit.

I guess I like this option, but I almost wish that it was a designated family section. Still part of the church service but surrounded by those who've also "been there" and are understanding of sometimes chatty little ones. In some ways this is basically what it is, but not formally.

Now, don't get me wrong, no one has ever really given us dirty looks or anything like that. I just always worry that I'm disrupting someone's quiet, intimate time with God by keeping my little guy in the service. And I'm thankful for the Parent Room so that I can still experience church when Christian does have those times where he gets way out of hand, but I just don't want to feel pressured to go there...But maybe I'm creating the pressure myself....

Do you sit in the Parent Room at church? Do you start there or do you move there if your little one gets too noisy? How do you decide how much is too much and how loud is too loud? Do you like the Parent Room? Or do you feel segregated and pressured to go there? 

The Thankful Project Day 18: A Choice.

Welcome to day 18 of The Thankful Project. Today's prompt is: A Choice. To learn more about The Thankful Project, find the list of prompts and join in the fun, click {here}.

I'm linking up with Kenzie at Chasing Happy for this post. 

Actually, this is yesterday's prompt...I'm a day late. But if you remember right, I said I wouldn't be posting every day, so I guess this is when you're getting it!

Choices.

Do you like them?

It seems the older I get, the more choices I have to make. Making choices is not something I'm necessarily thankful for as I'm SUPER indecisive!! But one choice that I've made and I'm so thankful that I did, is the choice to be part of Christian Community.

When my husband and I first joined our church, we were only dating. We were young {actually we still are young} and wanted to be a part of a couples group. Unfortunately Fortunately enough for us, our church didn't have a young couples group. I say "fortunately" because this meant we got to start our own group! Since we were only dating, it seemed weird for us to join a couples group of seasoned married people. Looking back, I know they would have been great mentors for us, but I'm so glad that we decided to form our own group.

God really has formed this group and we are so lucky to be part of it!

It's been just over 2 years now since we decided to start our own group and it's been a long journey. Actually, it took several months from the time we decided to "start" our group for dating, engaged, and newlywed couples before we even had a group! Being that we were only dating, we didn't fit into a lot of the couples that were looking to join groups. Instead of forming our own group, we actually formed 2 other groups first! Neither of which we were invited to be part of...sheesh! *all part of God's plan*

Finally, in January 2011, we had our first small group! We hosted it at Jim's house and were so nervous that no one would show up! We actually only were meeting with 2 other couples at the time...both were just dating. Eventually a married couple joined our group, Jim and I got engaged, one of the other couples got engaged, and another couple broke up. Over the past 2 years, though, our group has really grown and changed.

I am so blessed by them! 

We now have 6 couples {that's a total of 12 people!!} with 2 more prospective couples joining! I can't even put into words the blessing that this has been for us. It means so much to have couple friends who are in the same season of life and who love the Lord. It's also been really fun to all "grow" together. We are not only learning more about God and each other, but we are also growing through seasons. Jim and I are now married with a baby, another couple just celebrated their one year wedding anniversary, 2 other couples just welcomed little ones, and we hope to soon see another couple get engaged...soon :)

These people have become our best friends.

They are the people we hang out with on the weekends.

The people we share our joys and our hurts and concerns with so they can lift us up in prayer.

The people we talk about our kids with and learn about parenting with.

The people we laugh with and learn about God from.

We do life together.
And that is what I think God designed community to be. 

Acts 2:42
"All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord's Supper), and to prayer."

I thank God every day for providing us with this amazing community.

What choice are you thankful for? Are you thankful for choices? Are you part of a "community"? If not, I highly recommend you find your people! 
Don't be afraid to step out. I know you will be glad you did! 

And now it occurs to me that we don't even have a group picture! We need to make that happen! 

Who Says Church Can't Be Fun???

Last weekend the theme at church was "Homecoming" and we went all out! 

That's right...we did the WAVE in church! So fun! Check it out on the videos below! 

And just when I thought it was over....there was more! So "Homecoming" video take 2! 

We got serious too. 

When we go home, its often to a place of comfort and security...familiarity. But "Homecoming" isn't just about our earthly homes, its about returning to our heavenly home too. And the way to that heavenly home is only through Jesus. He is the way, the truth and the life (John 14:6). 

When we return to him, we have all we will ever need. 

Psalm 23

"The Lord is my shepherd;

I have all that I need.

He lets me rest in green meadows;

he leads me beside peaceful streams.

He renews my strength.

He guides me along right paths,

bringing honor to his name.

Even when I walk

through the darkest valley,

I will not be afraid,

or you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff

protect and comfort me.

You prepare a feast for me

in the presence of my enemies.

You honor me by anointing my head with oil.

My cup overflows with blessings.

Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me

all the days of my life,

and I will live in the house of the Lord

forever."

If you are looking for a church to call home, I encourage you to check out Hosanna! 

We would love to have you join us some week!

I trust that the Lord will meet you there! 

Psalm 139 "He is fearfully and wonderfully made!"

Psalm 139:13-16

"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; 

you formed me in my mother's womb. 

I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking!

Body and soul, I am marvelously made! 

I worship in adoration - what a creation! 

You know me inside and out, 

you know every bone in my body; 

you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, 

how I was sculpted from nothing into something. 

Like an open book, you watched me grown from conception to birth;

all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

before I'd even lived one day. 

Every day I wake up to this sweet face and feel so blessed that he is ours. That God has chosen us to be his parents. I still remember how in awe I was on the day that he was born. I can't imagine giving birth and NOT believing there is a God. 

Christian was not an accident. He was formed in my womb by God. How can something (someone) so miraculous be an accident? 

As he lays sleeping in my arms, I stare at him in wonder, amazed by his little eye lashes, the way his heart beats strong and healthy and his little chest moves up an down as he breathes. 

This baby in my arms is not the doll of my childhood, but a living, breathing human that has been entrusted to my care, our care.  I often think, wonder, when his parents will come for him, or who we should ask what they want done for him. 

And then I remember...WE are his parents. And WE get to decide. Yes, we have been given an amazing circle of support we can look to when we are uncertain, but ultimately Christian is a child of God who has been entrusted to us, to love, support and guide. 

Jim and I are his parents here on earth, but God is the one who has formed him and given him life. And what a miracle that is! 

It is so fun to watch our little boy grow and change each day and I'm in so much awe! 

From how his body knew to take his first breath and let out that first cry, to his chatty "language" and ear to ear grins.

I can't get enough of this little guy and am so excited for all that God has in store for him! 

I often find myself worrying...worrying about little things that my hubby tells me aren't "valid worries". He is right. I worry is Christian getting enough to eat, is he happy, is he still breathing, does he know how much we love him??? The list goes on and on. 

Our baby boy gains a good 2 pounds a month so he is definitely getting enough to eat!

He is all smiles almost all day long and HAS to be happy. 

I can only trust that I am showing him how much we love him. 

Ultimately, God knows the plan He has for Christian's life and all we can do is trust in Him and do our best to follow his lead in caring for Christian and guiding him to that path. 

We are so THANKFUL for this opportunity and our hearts overflow with love for this little gift. 

Who knew someone so small could create a love so big?

I think I'm starting to get an even clearer picture of the Father's love for us...

Christian's Birth Story - Chapter 3 ... First Comes Love...

Now that the young girl lived so much closer to the young boy, they started to see each other nearly every day! In October, the young man went to the young girl's hometown for the weekend to make a special fall trip to Copper Falls with the young girl's cousin. 

This wasn't the young man's first time meeting the young girl's parents, but it was his first time in her hometown. The young girl new she was falling in love with this young man, but seeing him with her family and in her hometown and realizing how perfectly he fit into her life, she started to see that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him! Not only that, but seeing the young man with the young girl's cousin's baby boy, really sealed the deal! But it had only been 4 months since they met! Little did the young girl know, but the young boy was thinking the same thing! 

By the time the 2 were half way home from their visit to Wisconsin, the young man knew what he had to do! He was planning to take the next week to really think and pray through things but he was almost certain that he needed to ask this girl to marry him! 

The night after the 2 returned to Minnesota, the young girl found herself in tears at the young man's house telling him that she was scared because she could see herself marrying him! To her relief, the young man shared that he felt the same way! He then asked if it would be too soon for her if he were to propose within the next few months and the young girl said she was ready! Who cared what people would think. When you know, you know! 

The proposal plans were then underway and the young man did not do things half way! The young girl was certain that they would be engaged on Christmas :) The anticipation was great! 

And the story continues... 

At our first football game (a local high school game)

Passing my first "test" on a date to the race track. I passed! :) 

Double date to the pumpkin patch

My strong man!

Playing in the corn pit

Hay ride!

Homecoming football game at my Alma Mater - UW-River Falls

Walk around Lake Calhoun after our 4 month anniversary dinner

Visiting Copper Falls...where we realized we were the "the one" for each other!

Watching this man with cute little Blakers melted my heart! I couldn't wait to see him with our own baby someday!

Our first "family" photo with puppy Baxter on our way home to Minnesota

Christian's Baptism

On Saturday, June 8, 2013, Christian James Foote was baptized at our church, Hosanna!

As believers, hubby and I knew that we wanted Christian to be baptized right away. Due to the baptism schedule at our church, and our family all being out of town, we decided to have Christian baptized at only a week old. 

We wanted family to be able to celebrate with us and to see him soon after he was born, so logistically baptizing him early worked best. Plus, our church only does baptisms every other month or so. I also help with the baptisms and the calmest, happiest babies are the teeny tiny ones who sleep through their ceremony. 

Our church baptizes people of all ages. You can be baptized as a baby and/or as an adult. However, we believe that the spirit is just as present in a baby baptism and there is no need to baptize again unless you are moved to do so. Baptism is symbolic of an active faith in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. 

Hosanna! baptizes children of believers because they "believe that the gift of God's grace in Jesus is so big and God-initiated that it is given even before someone can respond to it. Parents and others then take on the important responsibility of raising the baptized child to understand how big this gift is- to eventually respond by opening it personally one day!" 

It is our prayer that the Holy Spirit will be active and moving in Christian's heart and life and that he will one day choose to follow Jesus himself. We have committed to teach him and guide him along that path, Lord willing. 

Here are some pictures from the day as well as a video of the ceremony. We were so blessed to even have the same pastor that married us be able to baptize Christian as well! Not a common thing in our huge church! 

Christian is super blessed to be surrounded by so many people who love him! 

Great Grandma Breiby, Grandma Jill, and Grandpa Jeff

Grandpa Ron and Great Grandma Charlotte

Grandpa Dan and Grandma Karen

Mommy and Daddy's friends 

Dana, Pat, Krista, Alissa, and Jaden and Zoe

'Uncle Pat' - Godfather 

We may have forgotten to get a pic of him in his huge baptism suit outfit..so this is all we have. He also had a beautiful crocheted blanket from Great Grandma Greta. 

Meeting Dana for the first time. 

Meeting Great Grandma Charlotte for the first time.

Meeting Grandpa Jeff for the first time.

So excited for all that the Lord has in store for our little guy! Praying that we will be good examples and guides pointing him to Christ!