Social Media and Motherhood -- 5 Tips to "Disconnect" and Find {Connection}

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"Empowering Imperfect Moms with His Perfect Grace."

Intentional Motherhood.

Embracing Chaos.

Genuine Community. 

Refreshing Rest.

This is the heartbeat behind the ministry of Thrive Moms. We are not just called to survive motherhood, but to thrive in motherhood. And that's exactly what Thrive Moms is here to help us do.

Thrive!

Every Monday morning I wake up to an email of encouragement for Motherhood in my inbox.

Recently, Thrive Moms offered a FREE online retreat. Yes. It was free!! And it was online. Doesn't get much better than that! Okay.  Maybe getting away to a hotel and attending a retreat would be even better...but let's be real. Free and online is much more doable in my life!

Yes, the retreat was free and online and it was live, but you can still check it out!

Fall Retreat 2014

The theme of the Retreat was "Warrior" and how to be equipped for the battles of motherhood by putting on the armor of God daily. It was a great reminder that the battle is already won through Christ. It is in Him and through Him alone that we are victorious. All we need to do every day is show up.



In the very first session, Lara Casey encouraged us to live life and do motherhood "In His strength alone". We examined some of our "fears" and distractions and the whys behind our running to those distractions.

This hit me. It's definitely been something that God has been putting on my heart lately, but as Lara talked, God stirred my heart.

So what distracts me? And I would also ask - what distracts you?

If I were to answer that question honestly, I would have to say my biggest distraction on a daily basis is my phone. {Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, texting}

Why am I running to this distraction? 

Yes, a big part of my being distracted by my phone is that I'm  looking for connection---Especially as a SAHM. But I'll get to that in a minute.

What I'm really running to this distraction for is comparison.

To compare myself to other moms, other friends, other bloggers and even compare Christian to other kids.

Is my house as beautiful? As clean? As organized?

Am I cooking as healthy and yummy of meals?

Are my blog posts measuring up to those of other bloggers?

Am I doing pinterest worthy activities with Christian?

Is my house pinterest worthy?

Is Christian as developmentally advanced as others his age?

If I were to be honest, I usually don't measure up.

Jesus should be my source of strength and comfort, my point of comparison. In Him, I will always be enough. 

"He wants to replace our distractions with His strength" ~Lara Casey

So how exactly do we make this happen? How do we disconnect from social media and the comparison trap? Yet, how do we stay connected?

:::My top 5 tips to "Disconnect" and Find {Connection}:::

1. Plug your phone in out of reach with the ringer turned on. This will not only have your phone "out of sight and *hopefully* out of mind" but it will still keep you accessible in an emergency. You might even consider setting your phone to "Do Not Disturb" at least during certain times of the day. You can schedule this and even allow calls from certain people. That way when your hubby tries to check in during the day, you don't have to worry about scaring him when you don't respond!

2. Set aside designated time to "plug in". Set a timer! Limit your "screen time" just like you do for your kids! Make your screen time only as available as it used to be when you could only access the internet from a computer. Maybe you want to designate the first 15 minutes of nap time to zone out on your phone or computer. Or maybe the same thing after bed time. I don't know about you, but I don't want my son seeing me constantly attached to my phone like its an extra arm! The tricky part here, though, is actually setting that timer (but lucky for you, you probably have a built in timer right on your phone!). Now when that timer goes off, just be sure to also sign off! ;)

3. Build "connection points" into your day. While my phone and social media can become a source for creating comparison, it does also serve an important purpose for me as a stay at home mom -- It's a way to connect with adults and the outside world!! However, if I'm not careful, I can end up only connecting with people through technology and social media, which, if I'm being honest, just isn't as fulfilling as in person connection. It's a fake substitute in a lot of ways! Are you with me!?!  I often find that if I build in times to have real connections throughout my day, I automatically am on my phone less and choosing to connect with my son more!

So what does this look like? How do you build "connection points" into your day? You will have to figure that out. Try some things out and see what works for you! Maybe its setting aside time each day to check in with your spouse in a voice conversation on the phone. Or even calling up a friend to chat for a few minutes. There's also this fun thing called Facetime (Or Skype) and is another great option for finding connection in a more real setting! I don't know about you, but when I scroll Facebook or instagram, I often feel like I have "caught up" with someone without even making contact with them! That isn't growing a very strong relationship.

4. Get out and connect! AKA PLAN PLAY DATES! Getting out of the house is hard and takes a lot of planning sometimes, but every time we do it, I'm SO glad. The same can be said of having people over! But SO worth it! And guess what? The days we have play dates, I usually go almost all day without even looking at my phone! Yep. There's something to be said about real connection! Amiright???

5. PRAY! This should probably be "Step 1" but I saved the best for last in my list!

Pray for God to build connection into your days and for you to run to Him to not only find connection but to see who you are in Him and who He is calling you to be.

{To get a FREE print of this quote by Dr. Seuss, visit my friend Nicole at nicolejoelle.com and be sure to check out the rest of the prints in her shop too!}

It doesn't matter if Ann plans play dates with coordinating crafts and snacks and you're lucky if you can feed your kids a balanced meal, or if Susie keeps a spotless house and your's is always in disarray, or if Jane has 5 kids and is involved in everything and you only have 1 and can barely keep up with your housework, or if Johnny is talking in full sentences and your child is barely saying 10 words individually.

YOU are the only one who can be you! Don't waste time trying to be someone else. 

Pray also that God would help you not to be overcome by distractions. I love this prayer Lysa Terkuest shares in her book, "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God."

"God, I know you are more powerful than this pull I am feeling. I know this thing I want will only provide temporary pleasure. I know the consequences of making this choice will rob my peace and joy in the near future. Through Your power I am making the choice to walk away. I will find my delight in You and look forward to feeling Your fullness replace the emptiness this desire is creating."

So, will you join me? Will you unplug and "disconnect" in an attempt to find greater connection? Or is social media not a distraction for you? What are your distractions? Why are you running to these distractions? Do you find yourself ever getting caught up in the comparison trap of social media? How do you break away? How do you disconnect and still find connection? Please share in the comments! I would love to hear your tips too!