Enjoy.
What do you think of when you hear the word enjoy?
I think of blue skies, sunshine warming my skin, Christian's giggle and laughter filling my ears and Jim's hand holding mine as we all play together at the park.
Isn't enjoying life about building in lots of fun and happy moments? When you are enjoying life you are happy.
When I chose the word enjoy for my One Word 2015 I think this was what I envisioned. I wanted to enjoy the little moments. But only 2 months in, God is already showing me that that is not what he has for me in enjoying 2015.
What if enjoyment were something bigger than just smiles and happiness, blue skies, rainbows, sunny days, and the laughter of your little child?
What if enjoyment were about choosing joy even in the hard times. Not just finding joy in the hard times, the silver linings.
What if enjoyment were about knowing God's grace is enough and that should bring us joy no matter what the circumstance. Not just something as trivial as sticky hand prints all over your house truly being a blessing.
The year started off for us seeming to be filled with much enjoyment to come! We were pregnant! However, I was thinking that God must have a sense of humor because I so did not enjoy pregnancy with Christian! But as the days passed, I was actually enjoying pregnancy!! And then, on the exact day that I stated that I was "enjoying pregnancy", I started to miscarry.
And then I started to think -- "But my word is Enjoy! How am I supposed to "enjoy" this!??!" I definitely had the silver lining moments through out the process -- it was fast and physically pain free.
But through it all, I was able to find joy, because I was enjoying God's presence.
And even though I found joy and hope, I was still a little mad about it all and thoughts about when we would get pregnant again consumed my mind daily. And then of course my adorable little toddler became this independent melt down machine and motherhood in general was just starting to really not feel like my cup of tea.
And then this morning, as I was reading John 15:1-11 I was reminded to abide in Christ.
Our true and complete JOY and enjoyment of life comes from remaining in the Father.
It doesn't come from the silver linings that I was ultimately looking for when I chose to focus on enjoyment in 2015. It comes from continually choosing to remain unchanged in our relationship with God.
It's easy to rejoice in motherhood and enjoy the experience when Christian is being the perfect child -- when he isn't whiney when he's obeying, when we're playing well together, and ever more so on days that I get to shower and get dressed like a real person. But our days are rarely like that. And if that's what I'm striving for in enjoying motherhood then I'm missing a big piece of the puzzle.
"The gift of motherhood points mothers to treasure Jesus Christ as he transforms our hearts from the inside out"
~Gloria Furman
So that's the thing -- even when their isn't a "silver lining" we can always, always, always enjoy Jesus. And when we enjoy him and find joy with him, he transforms us and shows us the enjoyment he has for us in this life, and gives us all that we need for this messy experience of motherhood.
